The MISTAKEN COUNT ( From; The Grand-Old-Man)
Stories of Wit and Humor – Sri Lanka
One day Mutta and the Big-Five left on a journey. It so happened that they had to cross a river to get to their destination. “How do you know if this river is deep. It is dangerous to cross a river without checking it first,” said Mutta trying to be very logical as usual.
By this time it had gotten dark and they had to light a torch, (hulu atta) in order to cross the river. They hurriedly collected some dried leaves bundled them up and tied them together and fixed a torch.
“One of you will have to get in the river and wade across it for a test trip.” said Mutta. None of the Five however were willing to get in the river, for it was dark and they were too scared to step into the river.
“You are a fine set of cowards,” Mutta reproached the men. Then calling out to Coconut-Face he said, “You go first and check to see if the water is deep,” said Mutta.
With torch in hand Coconut-Face stepped into the river and waded up a short distance. Suddenly his foot got caught in a big hole in the river, “Swoo….sh!” went the torch in his hand and it fell in the river
. “Shoo…sh!” the flame went off as it fell down and got blown away. Coconut-Face nearly fell into the river. He was thoroughly, thoroughly frightened.
“Oh! my gosh!” he shouted, and quickly struggled back to shore. “Mutta this really is a dangerous river. It swallowed our only torch and nearly gulped me down. Fortunately for me I had some merit off my previous birth and so was saved,” cried the man, still gasping for breath and shivering with fear.
“There you are I told you, I am perfectly correct,” said Mutta, feeling quite elated and bragging and boasting about himself and his profound judgment. “This is a very dangerous river, I am positive about it,” said Mutta
.
“Of course, there is no doubt about it.” They all agreed. “We were all saved because of you and your good decisions.” They praised the Master
.
“You guys, then let us spend the night here, and get over to the other side in the morning, when the river is quiet and sleeping” suggested Mutta. They all agreed and spent the night under a tree.
In the morning Mutta requested Skinny-Tort to get in the river since he was tall and wouldn’t have much trouble wading through it. The others followed, timidly and cautiously till they got over to the other side of the river
.
Coming ashore Mutta said, “Guys though the river is very still and quiet now, last night it tried to eat up one of us,” he said, trying to maintain his sound judgment. Going up further he continued “Now let us count and see if we are all there and very well,” Mutta suggested.
Coconut-Face marveled at the idea. He hurriedly started to count. Placing his hand on himself first, he went on, “Me myself, next One, Two, Three, Four, Five… (he did not take a count of himself). Then, he gasped, “For heaven’s sake, one is missing, we should all be six, and now we are only five. The river has swallowed up one of us. This is all so terrible, gosh! What shall we do now?” he started wailing and crying..
“Wait a minute, wait a minute,” cautioned Mutta. “Now don’t cry.” He interrupted.
“Let’s try again, let’s try again, another one do the counting.” instructed the Old Man, some what alarmed and feeling nervous.
One of the Five next started the count. Unfortunately he also counted in the same manner, and forgot to count himself and ended up short of one. Finally Mutta got down to counting. The master did no better.
“Now what shall we do?” They all started crying. “This river is a monster. It has eaten up one of us. We must immediately fill it up with sand and do away with it,” cried the Five
Mutta however was more concerned with the missing one. Stroking his beard faster and faster, he snatched his eye-glasses, placing it over his forehead and raising his eye-brows he tried to calm down the men
.
At this time a youth passing by, heard the loud lamentations. He came over and inquired of the men what was troubling them.
Skinny-Tort hurriedly explained and told him the story. Silently the youth looked around at the crowd. He saw very well that there were six.
“These are a set of idiots,” the man said to himself. “Let me take advantage of the situation,” the man thought. Very coolly he turned round to the men and asked, “If I find the missing one what will you give me?” he asked.
“I will give you two silver coins,” replied Mutta with an anxious and worried look.
Then the man said, “All of you stand in a row. When I strike you with the stick, you must say your name out loud and jump up and I will count,” instructed the young man.
The man started counting. “ONE,” he struck Mutta first “Ooohh…..! Mahadenamutta,” shouted the Old Man. He went on to the next TWO, and so on. He struck one by one with the stick while they all shouted their names and jumped up and he counted them.
“Ooooh….Man!” shouted Kiddy- Brained who could hardly bear the strike, and the man finally counted SIX.
“Hurray, we are all there,” shouted the men.
“Thank you and wish you much merit. Here take your two coins,” said Mutta fighting shy and trying to hide his face in shame, for his own down right stupidity.
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